No one Should Feel Imprisoned In A Relationship, Know When To Walk Away.
- Mitzi J Hernandez
- Nov 15, 2017
- 4 min read
We all have heard saying such as “Love conquers all”, we grew up watching Disney movies that made love seem like a fairy tale and once you found the one you would live happily ever after; but the truth is love is not perfect by any means it requires sacrifice, compromise, it requires effort, it requires a lot of work, but love does not have to be painful or make you lose yourself.
Love isn’t going to be easy, but it shouldn’t be like a constant battle either. When you are in a relationship there will be times when you both won’t agree, there will be arguments, tears, you will be exposed to the ugly side of your significant other, but this is where you will realize where your relationship stands, this is when your relationship will either become stronger or it will fall apart. I have been in a few toxic relationships in my younger years now as look back I have realized what I did wrong and what was wrong about them, it comes down to three things.
The first, the person was wrong for me and refuse to admit it, not everyone is compatible, but I was in love with the “potential” I saw in them, I was clinging to the person in hopes eventually I could turn them into the person I fantasied about; the second was false passion, what I felt was infatuation when you’re young, love gives way to the ugly side of passion and the 3rd one which is the worse “I did not want to be alone” I used to think well he isn’t perfect right but at least I have someone.
Now I think why I felt this way was because I wasn’t truly happy with myself, I was trying to fill a void, that’s one of the reasons we hang in when we should be moving on and why we put up even if we’re unhappy, it’s the fear of ending up alone & unloved.
You choose to be with this person to have a companion, not to be ignored, poorly treated, to feel alone, to feel worthless, to not feel good enough or to be putting up with problematic, immature behavior, disrespect, verbal or physical abuse is not healthy for you especially if there’s children involved they do not need to in a hostile environment.
If you have come to the realization that this is occurring in your relationship, you and your partner need to make major changes; you need to sit down and have a serious talk or you can also seek couple’s counseling.
If your partner is not willing to admit their wrongs, compromise to make the relationship work and will not cooperate with counseling, you need to face the cold truth that he/she will probably never change, and then decide if being with this person it’s even worth the hustle and move on. I am all for trying to save relationship, but you’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked.
In the face of repeated heartache, headaches and insensitivity, it is the best to move on, you can’t fix or change him/her, if they are not willing to cooperate or they think you should just deal with it.
You DO NOT have to, know yourself worth, you deserve to be happy. Becoming conscious & aware of what is healthy in a relationship & what is not is the first step out.
Having to leave someone you love and care so much it is the hardest thing to do, is going to be difficult, but freeing yourself from that pain it is the most precious gift you can give yourself. You will doubting and questioning yourself, you will miss them & reminisce on how good some moments were.
The pain will come but is part of the process, but you will see that you’ll become better, stronger, wiser, & happier. You need to realize you deserve better & can do better, you deserve to be loved, you need real, genuine, reciprocated love.
You will experience true love one day, just believe that something much better is out there for you. Trying to keep going with a broken heart it will feel like you can’t win this battle, you are exhausted, physically, emotionally and mentally but you must keep going “you” are worth the fight, you need to fight for you! You must accept the truth, see how things really are this will give you the courage, strength and capacity to realize leaving this relationship was the best for you. You will have a clarity that will propel you forward.
What will help you through this painful process is to surround yourself with positivity and self-care. Spend time with people who make you feel good, treat yourself to a spa day, have a night out, cook your favorite meal, go on a trip, spend time outside, get a makeover or do whatever makes you happy. Going through a tough time can cause incalculable stress and an overwhelming feeling of sadness: It's important to try to replace those negative emotions with positivity.
No one should ever feel imprisoned in a relationship where their emotional, physical & mental health is being violated. You are a unique & beautiful individual with a lot to offer, & you owe it to yourself to set yourself free & to find that special someone who sees & loves you for you with all your qualities & imperfections.